Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Epiphany (brace yourselves)

Yes that, I had one of those tonight. After a long day full of thinking these wonderful thoughts.... "what is wrong with me... what is wrong with who I am... how I handle situations???"
 Repeat that about 51 times and you have my day.

 My husband came home to a crying wife which resulted into, a freeing, 2 hour conversation... about faith, parenting, tough decisions and the person I am and want to be.

I realized today that up until today I have lived my entire life (seriously the ENTIRE thing) seeking the approval of others and worrying a ridiculous amount about offending others.
 It occurred to me that I over analyze
 I questions everything I post on facebook, my blog, send in text, email, etc.... I run phone conversations through my head 10 times before I call the person or don't say how I really feel because I am afraid I might lose a friend.

I questioned myself to the point of tears today and that is when my sweet husband helped me work through all of my insecurities.
I even question posting this in fear if will come off as me seeming weird, but none-the-less, it is me. Not something that I fully accept or love, but me.
There is something so freeing about vocalizing your insecurities to someone rather than, what I have done 6,246 times in the past and kept them bottled up inside.
Correct! It doesn't change who I am overnight, but it sure helps me feel a hell of a lot more confident in tackling this in the days to come.
I will still be nice and tactful for the most part on this blog, but there may be a bit more vulnerability too.

My desire is that Crewe can look back on this timeline of his life and learn from me,
what he is too young to understand now... that life is hard, but life is beautiful and you have to embrace it all to fully live.
MAN THAT FELT GOOD! Like digging the dirt out of a concrete crack good!

Yes, I realize that these pictures have absolutely nothing to do with the post,
but they help lighten the mood some.

Linking up with:
Mommy Moments Blog Hop


  1. Wow, good for you! I struggle with sharing my heart and being vulnerable too :) I understand the worrying about what others think, sometimes we can just get so wrapped up in it!

    Thanks for sharing, you've inspired me today :)

  2. Embrace being vulnerable! Thanks so much for sharing. And I loved the pictures Crewe is too cute!

  3. I think you'll find more people can relate to this post than not. I have so much respect for you for being able to address it on your blog. I try so hard to act tough and like things don't bother me, but truth be told they do. I actually deactivated my Facebook a little over a month ago because of the same reasons you state above. I felt left out, secluded, envious when I would read what others posted when in reality, I have so many great blessings in my OWN life. It's given me the opportunity to focus on me and my family and it is unbelievably freeing. I missed it at first, took a good 2 week adjustment and always wondering what was going on in that "world" but I really don't miss it at all anymore. I stand beside you girl, from one blogger to another! :) Happy Thursday!


  4. You are not alone. I know we all struggle with some form of this and we are too afraid to admit it.(just like you said) I have a post in draft status that is along this same line and thanks to you, I may actually post it!
    I think you are amazing! And I am so blessed to be able to call you a friend.
    Keep your head up!

  5. I think everyone in their life struggles with one security or another. The good thing is that you are facing it and not ignoring it as many (including myself) do at times. You can say this is the first step to understanding yourself and hopefully making it better for you and those closest to you.
    I would love a follow back.

  6. You go! I am absolutely the same way. I even got to the point where I don't even like talking on the phone, because I don't like to be caught off guard and have an awkward conversation. Ha! I'm so glad you posted this, and so glad you freed yourself from it. I think most people can relate at least at some point in their lives, though.

    And thanks so much for stopping by and linking up! Your little man is so stinking adorable. :) Hugs!

    ♥Nicole @ Me + the Moon

  7. I feel that way a lot, too. Awesome of you to put yourself out there!

    Thanks for linking up with the Weekend Blog Walk so I could get to know you a bit better!

    Jillian @ Hi! It's Jilly

  8. Great post! I think we're all like this to a point, you had the courage to admit it. Your little boy is adorable!

  9. awww this made me sad about you crying, but I think ALL of us have been there ha. but I absolutely LOVE conversations with my husband like that - they're so freeing, right?! I love that God knew that He was doing when He put us with our spouses :) and girl, don't let those thoughts get you down, I know it's a lot easier said than done but hang in there :) the enemy is always trying to get people (ESPECIALLY WOMEN) down on themselves. Glad I found you from the mommy moments link up! Newest follower (however, I've seen your blog before and could've sworn I followed you...)

  10. Girl I am the exact same way. I have the horrible characteristic of constantly comparing myself to others. I think is a woman thing. Found your blog via Mommy Moments and I'm excited to follow along! Your family is so cute =) Check out my blog if you get a chance!

    Sarah @ Our Family of Three

  11. I feel like that's something women, in general, struggle with. And I've realized it only gets worse as you step into each new phase of life. When you get married you start worrying about what people think about your marriage. When you get pregnant, you think people will think about what you look like or register for or any other insane thing. And I'm sure it only gets worse once baby gets here and you're struggling through parenting for the very first time.

    How awesome you're freeing yourself of all that doubt and worry! You go girl! YOU do YOU the best YOU possibly can and don't worry what everyone else thinks!

  12. Good for you for opening up and getting it off your chest. And as someone who doesn't think too much and just blurts and then second guesses afterward, I figure there must be a happy balance somewhere between the two of us.

  13. It is good to be honest and get it off your chest! I have found that my boys have made me less insecure because I realize they (and my husband) are really the only people I need to express. And their happiness is most important to me. I do love your pictures at the end though, Crewe is adorable!

  14. Hi there! I'm a new follower from the blog hop and would love a follow back at Don't forget to follow me on twitter & Pinterest. I follow back all of my twitter & Pinterest followers :)

  15. Adorable!! You and your little boy are so cute!

    Just found you through the blog hop! Love your cute blog! I am a new follower. Would love for you to stop by and follow along if you'd like :)

  16. Just be yourself, gal. God made you just the way you are for a reason :) Thanks for stopping by the Mommy Moments link up!

    The Mrs

  17. Cutest most precious thing I have EVER seen!! I know I am late but I am finding your cute blog from the GFC Hop!! Follow me back and lets be friends!
    Excited to see what other fab posts you come up with!!

  18. I struggle with the same things! I way over-analyze everything and worry that things I say or write come off wrong - but there comes a point where I kind of have to let go, do my best, and trust that God can use my words that are useful and let people forget the words that aren't. :-)

  19. I just found your blog and have also found myself having this SAME conversation with my hubby! I can definitely relate..and I know a lot of other people can as well. It's hard sometimes to find the balance with just being yourself! Thanks for the post. :) It's good to know others are going through similar things.

  20. This is such an inspiring post for all of us. We all have felt this and it is a great reminder to not live to please others. Thanks for the motivation! Also, thanks for linking up with us for the Mommy Moments blog hop, remember to come back tomorrow for another link up!

  21. What a great post! I feel the same way you did most part of every day. It's definitely time for a change.

    New follower from the blog hop over at the Sasse Life. Hope you'll stop by!