Friday, October 19, 2012

Nursing

Disclaimer: This post is exactly about what the title states and I always followed my momma when she said "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". I would appreciate if you would take my momma's advice too.

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Something that has really been on my heart lately, as my nursing days draw to a close, is how taboo nursing a toddler has become in our society. I have never been a victim of any such attacks, but know people that have.
 
Amongst my friends, I have 2 other friends (who I instantly felt connected to) that chose to nurse past what most people consider a "normal" age. It was always such a comfort to be able to hang out with them knowing that I would not be judged in my choice of nursing my little guy a bit longer than most. We can talk and relate on so many levels.
 
It was coming to a point where I was feeling ashamed for my choice to continue to nurse past 12 months, than 18 months and now he will be 2 in December.
 
I was confident with my decision to continue to nurse until the well known "TIME" magazine article was published... if you missed  it you likely live in a cave... just sayin. Not long after that article I had somebody ask me if I was going to be the next person to be featured on the cover.
 
It crushed me and gave me so much insecurity about my decision, that from that day forward I starting lying when people asked me if I still nursed. My answer was always, to chuckle a little first (you know the... trying to act like they were crazy) followed by a, "No we weaned months ago".
 
In a way it is my fault for allowing people to make me feel insecure about doing something that did not affect anyone but me and my child. The past few days it has hit me that I have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. I love nursing my child and he loves it too. Why in the world should that offend anybody?? I am not asking them to watch me nurse or give their opinion on nursing.
 
A conversation I had with my husband last Sunday made so much sense to me, because I used to be the "Ew gross, you nurse and 18 month old" type of person UNTIL my wee one was placed in my arms and our nursing relationship began.
 
 I told him that it was crazy that Crewe was going to be 2 in December and it was still so normal to nurse him. He didn't seem too big or even too old for it, it just seemed like it did was he was a newborn.
 
What my husband said back to me made so much sense, he simply stated "It has been a part of your and Crewe's everyday life since he was a born, so it doesn't seem weird because he has just gradually grown as you continued to nurse. It's not like somebody just handed you a 2 year old one day to nurse". Mind blowing right? I don't know why I had never thought about it like that.
 
There are too many mommas out there who's kids are all grown and one thing I hear over and over is how much they miss nursing. That tells me something!
 
Will I nurse any future kiddos as long as I have nursed Crewe? I don't know, there's a chance that they won't even like nursing, but I for DAMN sure will not have an 1 ounce of insecurity or shamefullness about it.
 
So to any of you momma's who don't feel supported in your decision to nurse past the "normal" age (again whatever that is), NEVER let somebody make you feel ashamed for the good that you are doing. It's mind blowing to me that people will look at you like you are breaking the law if you nurse past a year.
 
 

20 comments:

  1. I think by this stage a lot of moms just find comfort in the fact that they can "hopefully" nurse in the morning or night where no one sees them. It is crazy though because WHO, CDC and AAP all recommend nursing minimum up to a year and well beyond. It's pretty crazy right? We're at 15 months and going strong. I have even felt pressure from my doctor and OB. All of it in nuances of course, but it's still clearly there and a little shocking. My grandmother and GIL who were both thrilled I was nursing are now saying things like, "You're STILL nursing that baby?? When are you going to stop?" Oh well. Truck on I say.

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  2. Good for you (and your son!) I'm so glad you don't feel ashamed anymore. It is a beautiful and natural thing you do for your child! So congrats for making it that long (I wish I could of).
    By the way, our boys are the same age. Hunter turns two at the end of December! :)

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  3. Be proud of yourself and Crewe! It's natural. I only wish I could have nursed either of mine for this long.

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  4. good for you! its crazy that breastfeeding became taboo. in many other countries it is perfectly normal to BF a baby til they are preschoolers - they often think its weird that we dont BF our kids right from the start and for a long time. I didnt get to nurse Ian but Rylin and I are going strong. She will be one next month and I will let her wean herself. She only nurses a few times during the day but still nurses several times at night. I wish I could reverse that so I could sleep but its comforting knowing that I can comfort her. Dont let anyone make you feel bad about nursing!

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  5. I don't want children myself, but I think that if someone wants to nurse a toddler, it's their choice. People should go about their own business instead of getting worked up over another person's parenting decision. If they don't like it then they don't have to do it with their own toddler, plain and simple.

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  6. Be proud of it, Alexis!! Not only is it great for Crewe healthwise, it's also great bonding. He will let you know when he is ready to stop. Pop those babies out and feed him whenever you want! :)

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  7. Good for you! Don't feel ashamed about it. Nursing is a wonderful, bonding experience between mother and child. I am a strong believer in letting the baby choose when to wean. My fourth is almost 9 months old now and I plan on letting him go as long as he would like. My first born weaned himself at fifteen months, then with my second I had the same feelings you did but actually tried to wean her at 16 months and it was heartbreaking and I didn't follow through with it, she ended up nursing until she was almost two. Then my third weaned herself also at 15 months. You should nurse for as long as you and your bugger feel right. =)

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  8. Good for you hun!! I'm majorly jealous, i had so many ups and downs when nursing i had to give up due to weight loss (in my babes) at 10 weeks. I was absolutely gutted and KNOW i would be "one of those mums" who nurse until they are over the norm age. Take my hat off to you, good on you.

    Found you through the monday mingle! Really looking forward to more reading :)

    Char - mummyrawles.blogspot.com

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  9. Hi! I found you via Naptime Review's Mom's Monday Mingle! Following you via GFC! Have a great week!

    Kristy @ Shona Skye Creations
    http://shonaskye.blogspot.com

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  10. good for you for nursing longer than a year or even at all, so many don't even start! I am nursing my 2 yr old still too. I am a new follower from the moms monday mingle!

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  11. Good for you for doing what is best for your family!

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  12. Hi, I'm a new follower from the Mingle. Great job for nursing this long! I nursed my oldest till about 15 months. I got pregnant with my second when he was about 13 months and it was getting so hard for me to keep up my calorie intake for him and the growing little one. The little one is now 4.5 months and my goal is to nurse for longer than I did with my first :)

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  13. I loved this post! (New follower from the mingle!) Even though my days of nursing are long over, my 3 nursed whenever/wherever/however they wanted and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Yes, my middle daughter was a bit past 2, with pig tails, able to unbutton my shirt... all things that I'm sure a normal person would think "It's time to wean!" but I wouldn't have traded the bonding, the nutrition... the EVERYTHING for the whole world. Be secure in knowing that you know what is best for your own child. :-)
    Applauding you! jules from blesid

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  14. I was so happy to read this post. You are so right. When I had my first son I nursed him until he was just past his second birthday. Even my friends and family made fun of us once he got past one. I read lots of lots of articles and post hoping to find some others who felt like what I was doing was fine. I wish I had some other mothers around me when we were in that stage. Congrats to you and your son and no matter what anyone says we are special despite people making us feel weird. I wish my second son would have nursed but he just didn't take to it at all. I loved that time with my son its the best bond ever.

    Nicki @ Nicki's Random Musings
    http://nickisrandommusings.com

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  15. New follower from Mom's Monday Mingle. Enjoying reading your blog. Thanks for co-hosting.
    Erin
    http://travelingkidsonthego.blogspot.com/

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  16. Hi Alexis! I love to nurse my babies and it is always a sad thing when they stop. My kids never wanted to nurse past 18 months. I think it is so good for your baby so if you want to do it until your child is 2 then that is your choice. Stopping by from Mom's Mingle. I am a new follower on GFC and twitter. Hope to see you at True Aim!

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  17. I love how you've expressed your nursing relationship with your son and how wonderfully supportive your husband is. Every woman has the right to choose for herself and her child when the right time to wean is. I don't particularly condone going beyond preschool years, but myriad cultures nurse well past the "standard" 12 months that western cultures seem at ease with. I stopped nursing my three around 12 months because that worked for me, but to each her own. Never be ashamed of the beautiful and intense bond you've created, not to mention the nourishment you've provided your son!
    Found you through the Monday hop and will be a devoted follower!

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  18. Stopping by and following from Mom's Monday Mingle, and glad I found your blog! I love this post. My daughter just turned one two weeks ago and I still nurse her. You are absolutely right about not letting anyone make you feel bad or discourage you for nursing for HOWEVER long you decide to do it. And I love how your hubby said that you and your baby have been sharing this bond since he was born. So why is it so wrong? I truly believe the dissent comes from ignorant people or people who don't understand why a mother would (1) nurse her baby at all or (2) nurse for an extended period. I personally plan on nursing until my daughter doesn't want to anymore. She enjoys it, I enjoy it, and it comforts her. Plus she is still getting tons of nutrients from it that will stay with her for years. Thanks for sharing this post, and you go mama!

    Come on over and check out my blog if you have time :)
    I also co-host a fun Sunday linkup that is still open today if you'd like to link up!
    http://nuggetonabudget.blogspot.com

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  19. Both of my little ones nursed until around 14-15 months. They were both ready to stop--I think it was harder for me to let go of that bond than anything! You have to do what works for you and your family--those are the only opinions that matter in the end. I'm now following from the Monday Mingle and I look forward to your posts!

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  20. It always strikes me as odd that women are more likely to judge each other than man are! Always do what feels right for you and your family; that will make all decisions easy.

    Lindsay
    www.knowbetternow.blogspot.com

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