Monday, January 7, 2013

My Ministry

There is something about getting out in the fresh air that clears the mind and enables you to think a little more straight, which is just what Crewe and I needed. I keep making excuses as to why not to get out of the house, when if really just boils down to the fact that I hate to be cold.
 
 
Yesterday I made it happen. Crewe has been my little hip baby ever since Daddy came home and his sleep has been hit or miss, so I have been feeling sorry for myself lately.
 
We got out the little wagon he got for Christmas and walked and walked and walked and it was glorious. I wasn't telling him "no"  every other sentence and we were able to just enjoy each other completely.
 
 
The more my negative days are mixed in with the good, granted the negative are far outweighed by the good, the more I am understanding that my ministry right now is in my home.
 
I have been going through a search, so to say, of way I feel like everyday is the same thing over and over. Asking things like....Is what I do everyday even going to make a difference in the world or would I be better off at an 8-5 (cry me a river), but that is how I have felt.
 
 
 There is good in this search though because it is stretching me, molding me, changing me and the good kind of change. The change that makes you a better you. The change that makes you want to go climb Mount Everest and scream your heart out that you did it, when you get to the top.
 
 The search is leading me to learn that my ministry IS doing the laundry, cooking the meals (with a glass of wine), making the beds, nurturing Crewe, taking care of my husband.
 
It IS making our house a home.. a warm, welcoming place for us to escape the world.
 
It IS making sure my desires and heart are lined up with God and nurturing Crewe's little desires and heart to be the same.
 
It IS to provide a center of life for all who live here.
 
It IS being all the things that I have felt for the last 2 years are not contributing to my family in a big way or having much of a ministry at all.
 
 
But you see if I can make my home my ministry and find joy in that task everyday I CAN affect eternity! Because the home I am creating for Crewe WILL effect who he chooses for a wife and the values of a mate he holds high. It WILL effect the home he wants to create for his children and it is a domino effect from there.
 
And you know what??? I hold all of that in the palm of my hand right now, it is mine to decide what I want to do with it. It is completely and utterly my choice. Oh how that makes my heart flutter with excitement and realize just how big my ministry, that I once thought was nothing, IS.
 

I think back on starting my journey with the Crazy Wrap Thang and my "why" for wanting to work from home. I wanted to be able to bring a little bit of income in to save for a family vacation once a year. In my head I HAD to have these monumental vacations once a year so that my son would have fond memories of his childhood.

And while that "side job" has allowed us to take a monthly vacation if we chose... it is not some once a year BIG vacation/ memory that is going to shape my sweet babe... it is the day to day little moments that are going to shape him the most. The kissing of ouwies, the rocking at night, the dinner time prayers, the patience through fits, the walks around the park, playing peek-a-boo behind a tree.


Oh how I had it so backwards.
 
So Crewe, thank you for taking me to the edge and back with your sporadic sleep and 24 hour need of me. I will never have these years back with you and one day I will be wishing you were under my roof, wanting to sit in my lap, on my head, and pulling on my pants. God is doing big things in me, through you.

"Wherever you are right now - BE THERE ... that is where God is - with you - right there - right now"- Christine Caine 
 

7 comments:

  1. Exactly how I have been feeling lately. You said this perfectly.

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  2. Sweetly written. Thanks for the reminder. =)

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  3. This is such a great post, Alexis! Thank you for sharing and for being that reminder for me!

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  4. I can't wait til Crewe reads these posts one day. :-) No doubt they will bring him to tears. You are doing a wonderful job, girly! I'm so proud of you and love you so much!

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  5. New Follower!! Found you through Caseys linkup! Love your blog.. and when you have time hop over to my blog kjaggers.com and if you like what you see.. follow back! Happy New Year!!

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  6. He is so adorable! What great pictures!
    http://shannonhearts.blogspot.com/

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