It is amazing how wrapped up I can get in the insignificant happenings of life, that seem so huge at the time.
Crewe has been waking up again at night and it has utterly thrown me for a loop. I love my sleep and felt so blessed when, at 14 months, he decided to start sleeping through the night and I feel I live in fear any night he wakes up that we are going to start the cycle again. It is not so much the getting up that bothers me, it is the fact then when he goes back to sleep around 4, I am wide awake. Losing sleep is not my favorite.
I am not greatest at segwaying (don't really even know if that's a word) so hang with me on this.
Loss seems to be a prevalent happening right now. Just this week I have learned of a sweet baby girl who was born early and lost her battle and was taken far too soon... to a young man who's life was lost in a car accident just 2 days ago, leaving behind a wife and precious 11 month old daughter.
It really has put some perspective in my head about what the signigicant and insignicant things of life are. How that momma that lost her sweet newborn would give anything to hear a crying baby through a monitor wanting to be rocked or how the wife who lost her husband would love to crawl back into bed, after rocking her baby, to her husband peacefully sleeping.
THOSE are significant, life changing, tragic events.... no matter how much I would like to think a waking toddler is.
It causes me to question the decisions God makes for our life. I know that God is soveriegn and would never make a wrong decision, but I just don't understand and know in this lifetime I never will. All I can do (and am called to do) is trust and work daily not let fear dominate my thoughts.
THAT is a daily battle for me... when there are people on this earth that I cannot even fully grasp my love for or thought of them not being here.
This statement that I stumbled upon calmed my heart a bit in my fear of not fully trusting God....
"Faith is not the absence of doubt, but still walking towards the presence of God so He can deal with the doubt.."
Just some of my thoughts before bed. I will definitely have a different perspective when my sweet boy whines through the monitor at 3am.
Aww, little Crewe is having some growing pains, maybe? Olive has been waking up, too-- and I am not in a good mood when I don't sleep well.
ReplyDeleteIt's so sad about Julee's husband-- I don't even want my mind to go there if something happened to Chris.
I'm glad you guys are OK-- even if you're a little tired. :)
This post made me tear up. It is so true. We all get so worked up over blessings in our life. Hunter has thrown me for a loop lately with sleeping as well. I just have to think that there will be a day when may not even want to talk to me sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this.
I can't agree more. This post hit home with me today. I go around grumbling about Elle's diva antics and Wes's constant mess making and then Monday I found out my nephew was put in the hospital AGAIN. My nephew has CF and I can't even imagine what my brother is going through each day knowing this about him. Sometimes I need to stop and "smell the roses".
ReplyDeleteGood post.
This is so true! I've been feeling the same way. I can't stop thinking about Julee's husband. Its so sad. I can't even begin to imagine what she must be going through. It definitely gives me a new perspective. How easily we take people and things for granted.
ReplyDeleteIt's very true that there are bigger things that could happen, but it's still ok to wish for a slightly longer snooze. Just don't sweat the small stuff.
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about this 2 days ago. My youngest is 8 months old now, and doesn't seem to be anywhere near sleeping through the night (and for some reason, I'm really hesitant to try forcing the issue with him). I want him to grow up just a little so he sleeps at night and is able to walk during the day (...hey ...mobility makes him happy:). And then I heard of an old friend whose 2-year-old is fighting for his life with cancer. Why am I complaining? God gave me my boys to love and enjoy just as they are.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you and your friends right now.
Hi Alexis, I'm Anne from Life on the Funny Farm (http://annesfunnyfarm.blogspot.com) visiting from the Mommy Brain Mixer.
ReplyDeleteGood questions, I've gone there myself. The way I look at it is, when our adult children, living on their own, have hurts or make mistakes, we COULD keep them safe from it if we chose to, but we don't. We let them go and live their lives, and know they will get hurt, but it is what we must do as parents. Smae with God.
Anyway, it’s nice to "meet" you. I hope you can pop over to my blog and say hi sometime if you get the chance.
I understand exactly what you mean about people leaving too soon and leaving loved ones behind. I mother got knocked down last week outside her child's preschool while trying to cross the road. She was not even suppose to be there but her daughter left her lunch kit and she was dropping it off. It pained me to hear of this and knowing she left her husband and 2 young kids behind. I really felt blessed and realized that I must enjoy overt moment I have with my family.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing and it is very inspiring.
Jillian
Hi Alexis! I'm a new follower from the GFC blog hop!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing like hearing about the death of a child to make you want to hold your babies closer. Their lives just seem so fragile that you want to make sure nothing will ever happen to them. The scary part is, you don't have the control, God does. So when I hear of things like this happening, all I can do is pray. Pray for the family that lost their baby, or the baby that will grow up without a father, and pray for the safety of my own daughter. I find a little peace in that. :o)
Oh my heart aches for individuals that suffer loss like that. Actually I have been thinking about loss like that today as well. I was reading about the young girl from Canada that committed suicide due to bullying. I keep thinking what if that was my daughter. Would I know if she was being bullied? Could I help her? Could I save her? Would she tell me? I can not even imagine the parents pain of losing their child that way. I am like you I will never in this life begin to understand God's plan. It seems all crazy to me. But I know he is in control. It is crazy how sometimes tragedies are what put our lives into perspective. I came to visit from the Monday Mingle and I am your newest follower.
ReplyDeleteLove
Patricia
www.thettdiaries.com
This is such a great post and so true! It's good to be reminded of this often...it's easy to get caught up in our daily lives and the little things that really are just that...little. Your little guy sleeping...so sweet!!:)
ReplyDeleteThe best thing we can do is to let go of the moments that dampen our spirits (like that 3am wake-up - he's old enough to turn off that monitor!!) and to hold on to those that lift us to new heights. Moments are just memories in the making, soon to be past.
ReplyDeleteYou really put your heart into your writing and make your reader feel. Keep sharing your voice and inspiring others.