If I am being honest

I have had an immense amount of mommy guilt lately... from the amount of time my kiddo has spent watching Disney Jr. to the fact that we are not having a huge bash for his birthday... or a bash at all for that matter. We are going to celebrate Crewe here at home making a day JUST for him, but not having a party.

 

It didn't bother me for the longest time because he is only 2, but as the day has crept closer the guilt stings a little more. I know who guilt comes from and it is not from God, so I will recognize that.... Saturday we will turn off all electronic devices and just gladly celebrate our boy.

 

 

If I am being honest... our family is gearing up for Daddy to be gone for 2 whole weeks. That might not like seem much to most, but for this momma (who has only spent a max of 3 nights away from her man and maybe 3 nights alone with my kiddo) it is taking preparation for my heart. I don't like being away from him for that long.

 

 

Side note: Just in case any psychos view my blog.. I would like to let you know that we are the proud owners of a semi-automatic, 2 shot guns, a rifle as well as a pistol and I am a good shot, so if you come a knocking and I see you at the door.. I will drag you in :-) Doesn't get more honest than that, right?!

Moving on.....

If I am being honest.... I am going to give myself and Crewe a whol-lotta grace the next two weeks and if anybody is in need of a play date we are available. :-)

 

If I am being honest.... tonight we were sitting on the couch eating pizza and John looked at me asking if I ever ate certain foods that I really couldn't taste until they hit the back of my tongue to which I laughed and said "Honey, only YOU would ever notice that, let alone be disappointed that the other 2 inches of your tongue do not get to taste it". Daddy and his food. Love him and the fact that our sweet boy is just like him. 30 years from now I will sit on the couch, read this and laugh hysterically

If I am being honest... my goal is to have all 15 doors in our house painted black, by the time my honey returns. Pretty much a door a day. I am super excited about this project... so in true Alexis fashion I will neglect everything else in my life and paint doors.

 

 

I will leave you with proof that we have a mickey problem in our house.

Mickey on the phone and t.v.
 

Have a great weekend!

Be Still.... (truths about Crewe)

Sometimes it is good for me to just be still. I don't do that well. I like to be moving, running, starting crafts that I never finish crafting, just doing something. Along with my need to always be moving I often don't let things play out when Crewe is busying himself with items around the house that are not his toys. He loves playing with almost anything that is in the kitchen.

 

Last night I am so glad I quieted my inner self when he started pulling all of the pots and pans out of the cabinet and carrying them to our bedroom. Typically I would tell him to put them back and shut the door, but typically he doesn't carry them off, instead of my typical response I grabbed my camera and watched and enjoyed Crewe being a 2 year old.

 

He spent a solid 20 minutes carrying them to the bedroom, lined them up, brought the cutting board into the mix, followed by a book. What followed melted my heart. He started frying up his book in the skillet and flipping it between the pans.

 

At times I question why I stress myself out in trying to keep up with blogging and then moments like these happen and I am quickly reminded what a sweet memory this will be to look back on, that I would have otherwise forgotten.

 

Crewe, you always have a special way of reminding me to slow down, watch, be present and enjoy who you are as a 2 year old. It blows my mind how you can, more than anyone else, change my perspective and make it more what it should be.

 

Love,

Momma  

Loving....(Part 1)

Let me start with 1 thing I am not loving, but have come to accept. If you have followed by blog for a minimum of 1 day, are my friend, seen my post on facebook or have ever text me and I responded... you will know that I do not proofread N to the E to the thing. I mean seriously it is a little ridiculous being college educated and all, but I don't intend to start real soon. So please love me through my none proofreading ways.    ;-)
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Ok so on to what I am loving....

To me love is so hard to put into words at times, but so easy to feel in moments. That is why special moments are so easy to recall... certain smells. songs, scenerios trigger them. It is usually not words.

So I am loving all this...

 

Somebody turned 2 on Saturday!!!

 

 

Hard to believe my little guy will be 2 in a week.

This has started within the past couple weeks and it never.ever.fails. As soon as the camera comes out and I try and get a picture with him... well see for yourself.

 

Pretty right?

He will have nothing to do with it unless it involves me sneaking in on his play time. Oh 2 year old, momma will continue to sneak into your pictures.

 

Love "part 2" will be coming, along with more truths about Crewe, DIY Tufted Headboard, Snickerdoodle Pumpkin Bread and whatever else I claim I will post and never do. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!

Have I told you lately...

That I LOVE this time of year. Not even a sweet boys fever and stomach bug can dampen my Christmas cheer. He did break his momma's heart a bit though. 

 

I am the momma that puts the Christmas tree up the first weekend in November; although I have an equal appreciation for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving deserves its own special spotlight.

 

Crewe and I started off our Thanksgiving with him falling asleep in the car right as we were arriving, so momma sat in the car with him for an hour, reading a 1990 Victorian magazine, because there was nothing else to do.

 

There is something about having a baby that just makes you appreciate holidays, life, health, everyday events a little more. Even if it is sitting in the car for an hour waiting for him to wake up. I mean who wouldn't want to stare at that face.

 

 

Little  man was a trooper through it all. He played, took pictures with cousins, conked out for a 2 hour nap, snuggled up close a lot (which I NEVER mind) and decided that Grandma might even be a close 2nd to mommy (which Grandma NEVER minds).

 

 

I wanted a family picture and this is all I got. I'll take it.

 

There is something about being in the middle of nowhere that just calms the spirit and makes you feel closer to God. Having family gathered close around drinking coffee and eating pie. The men watching football and shooting rifles out in the fields. Babies exploring their environment and being hugged and kissed on by everyone. Those are are all the things I am thankful for. 

 

Crewe spent the remainder fo the holiday test driving some future professions he might be interested in. Night 1 consisted of a tow truck driver that bakes on the side and Night 2 was just a fire fighter.

We headed home today, Crewe and I took a 2 hour nap on the floor, followed by breakfast for dinner, a fire and Elf.

 

 

Like I said, sweet boy was a little under the weather.
 

I hope everyone had a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

Currently

So, I am already late on my weekly "Truths about Crewe" posts, but this happened last year around the holidays so I am not surprised. We are busy enjoying each other, the festivities and the feeling of the season. This is my absolute favorite time of year.

 

 

Our Christmas tree has been up since the first week of November. We have a mixture of Christmas and Thanksgiving scents burning in our home and presents slowing filling up the area below the tree.

 

This year we have chosen to bless 3 foster kiddos in the city we live in versus buying for each other. I really struggle with buying Crewe $200 worth of presents that he will outgrow in 3 months. I would rather buy him a few sweet, simple gifts to open on Christmas morning next to a fire...followed by a solid day of Christmas movies, a yummy breakfast and if we are lucky snow.

 

So here is our CURRENT

 

Listenting: I mostly have Christmas music via Pandora going 24 hours a day or Santa Paws is going in the DVD player. Crewe asks to watch that movie 5 times a day and they are coming out with Santa Paws 2 tomorrow. I am so excited to have 2 DVD's to rotate between ;-)

 

Planning:  On getting ALL of our Christmas shopping done and in the mail before December 1st as well as planning all the yummy treats to make for the holidays.

 

Wishing: That my dog would not shed at least 6 months out of the year. Momma is tired of sweeping the floor every.single. day.

 

Thinking About: What all Christmas traditions I want to start with Crewe. I really want him to grasp what the true meaning of Christmas is, but also have the warm fuzzy feelings of reading Christmas books... drinking hot chocolate, advent calendars, a Christmas Eve gift to open...a stocking next to his bed, Christmas breakfast, fires.....

 

 

 

Craving: Spagettio's... like every single night before bed. Might not be too bad of an indulgence if I did not smother it in cheese.

 

Looking Forward To: Traveling to Abilene to see John's mom (Grandma) and his family. They have a HUGE family get together on Thanksgiving Day... I think we max out at around 50 people, but there are a ton of kids running around on a big plot of land and it is always so fun and perfect.

 

Working on: Getting all the gifts wrapped and under the tree rather than on our kitchen table and doing some fun projects with Crewe.

He is really enjoying learning and exploring right now... so I am trying to put a few of my 127,325 pinterest pins to use. So far so good. He usually puts a twist to them, but I love watching his brain work.

 

 

 

Reading: Lots of "Go Dog Go" "Silly Goose" "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse""Brown Bear Brown Bear". I have also been working through the "Love Dare". So much insight on how to love your spouse well.

 

 

Feeling: Grateful... for the life God has given me and that it is mine to wake up to everyday. I wouldn't chose any other one if I had the chance. I am so grateful my husband is mine, my sweet little boy is mine, my bad days are mine, my encounters with God are mine. I am just so glad it is all mine.

 

Making me Happy: Having a healthy little one.. that was able to enjoy Santa and his reindeers this weekend. It makes me so happy that I have acorns clanging in my dryer from a certain 2 year olds pockets. That my sweet guy stamps his feet in protest to things because it means he has energy and is... ahem... gaining his independenc.  

 

 

 

So what is your "Currently"?

Truths about Crewe

For some time I have wanted to dedicate a portion of my blog directly to my boy. I want him to know and never question his worth to God, our family and this world. How much he is loved and prayed for by so many. I am hoping to start this as a weekly letter to Crewe, of sorts.

I shared a powerful series of sermons I worked through, in THIS post. I was thinking how much I want Crewe to be able to have stuff in his life that speaks to him how these sermons have spoken to my heart. I know God will put things like this in his path to help him grow in his faith, much like God has done for me, but I also want Crewe to get a glimpse of my heart, struggles, successes and failures.

 

We learn so much from our parents.

 

I saw this on pinterest yesterday and am seriously thinking about taping it to my bathroom mirror so I can refer to it on the days that seem long, trying and my patience is running thin. The importance of always chosing kindness because you always have a choice.

 

 

Dear Sweet Boy,

 

This world is going to feed you words of lies your entire life that are from the enemy and not true, so don't for one second EVER believe those words and question your value, purpose, or how much you are loved.

 

Every week I am going to post just a few of the wonderful things you are to me... to your daddy... to your savior, so when you get older and life gets harder, when people are mean, when life gets you down...you can just refer back to this list and see the truth in who you are, over the lies.

 

You have one of the most kind hearts I have EVER seen in a toddler. You are so so sweet to everyone you are around. In fact other kids will take your toys or push you down and it takes everything in this momma heart to not instantly come to your rescue, but I know my job is to teach you how to navigate this world and I will not always be able to recue you from everything. I like watching to see how you are going to react and everytime you do not fight for the toy and you never hit back. People might tell you. later in life, that is a wimpy way to act, but trust me sweet boy it makes me so proud to see how kind your heart is. 

 

 



It is a bit hard for me to put into words how much you Daddy loves you. Just today I found out that he has been doing a video diary for you to have when you are older and lets just say you are super lucky to have a Daddy that adores playing with you and letting you "work" with him in the garage.

 

 



Such concentration

You are such a good helper. You come running if anyone inserts the word "help" into a sentence that contains your name. I love that you help with every ounce of your being. You are totally present in that moment of helping, which your momma is learning from and how important that is. Never lose that quality. In whatever you are doing always be 100% there and present.

I cannot tell you the amount of joy it gives me to be your best friend everyday and how much joy, purpose, and love you bring to my life. Your zest for the simplest things in life constantly remind me that things can wait and to truly slow down and enjoy every moment of life.

You are only 2 and we are aleady so proud of who you are.

 

 

Always remember that in your entire life you cannot control what other people say about you, but you can control what you believe and you better believe you are the best.

 

Love your Momma